Salute Your Shorts Episode Recap: Cheeseburgers in Paradise

I recently DVR'ed five episodes of the short lived, but much loved, nineties television program Salute Your Shorts. A quick Google consultation confirmed my suspicion that there's no current website that features Salute Your Shorts recaps.

And you call yourself an internet.

For those of you allergic to summer camp based hilarity, Salute Your Shorts is a television show about a bunch of kids who learn about life, love and hijinks at woefully under-supervised Camp Anawanna. In an effort not to over-stimulate our prepubescent brains, the characters were created as one dimensionally as possible.

They are:

Bobby Budnick: The Bully
Michael Stein: The Everyman
Donkey Lips: The Fat Kid
Sponge: The Nerd
ZZ Ziff: Nature Chick
Telly Radford: The Athlete
Dina Alexander: The Spoiled Pretty Girl
Kevin "Ug" Lee: The Clueless Camp Counselor

Our first episode is the eighth of the first season and centers around Donkey Lips and Sponge's efforts to gain/lose weight in order to join the wrestling team.

Cold Open:

Our story begins with camp bad-boy and unironic mullet owner Bobby Budnick selling food and other miscellaneous trinkets to his fellow campers, much to the chagrin of camp counselor extraordinaire Kevin "Ug" Lee. Ug informs Budnick that camp policy clearly states that there's no outside food allowed and that whatever parents send, he eats. Seems unfair, but he's a forty year old camp counselor who's routinely outsmarted by twelve year olds, so I'm not going to question the logic of his decision making. Ug then mistakes an actual shoelace for a candy shoelace and eats it.

First Act:

The gang laments the fact that their camp culinary options are less than ideal, and ZZ makes a joke about eating Earthworms, which was insulting to both Earthworms and jokes in general. Like most intelligent adults, Ug decides to publicly weigh Donkey Lips and Sponge in front of their friends to see if they qualify for the oddly stringent camp wrestling team. Since all great comedy derives from conflict, they do not, and Ug announces in front of all their friends that Donkey Lips and Sponge are too fat and skinny respectively to join the wrestling team. This saddens our heroes because they wanted to go on the annual wrestling seafood restaurant trip and because Donkey Lips wanted a trophy to prove to his parents he wasn't a loser. If I'm the Camp Anawanna Wrestling coach I'm not heartbroken since "actually wanting to wrestle" doesn't appear too high on their priorities for joining the team. Telly, unencumbered by any type of organized camp activities, volunteers to whip our boys into shape.

We move to the cafeteria where in non-wrestling or repeatedly pointing out that Donkey Lips is fat news, Budnick devises a plan to order some hamburgers from the outside. Despite the fact that Budnick has proven time and time again to be an unsavory character, Michael, Dina and ZZ agree to pay him in advance. Over at the "Wrestlers Weight Training Table" (Telly hung a multicolored sign which suspiciously looks like an art and/or craft, so I'm assuming she bought it from a neighboring camp) Sponge is drinking a protein shake that "taste like Donkey Lips' socks smell." Oh right, because Donkey Lips is overweight. Got it. Sponge crawls underneath the table to dispense of Telly's shake when he runs into Budnick who (for reasons unknown) is also crawling around underneath the table. Sponge wants in on the burger deal and the two temporarily forget that bullies and nerds are mortal enemies and high-five.

After lunch, with no discernible camp related activities in sight, Coach Telly decides to have Donkey Lips run a mile while Sponge eats twenty bananas. Never wanting to miss an opportunity to remind the viewer that Donkey Lips is overweight, this takes him four hours to achieve and is subtly scored with the Benny Hill theme song. Four hours to run a mile? Donkey Lips should quit worrying about wrestling and concentrate on a far more pressing opponent: Diabetes.

Great, now I'm doing it.

Back in our Burger-rific B-Plot there's a scene with ZZ and a piggy bank which I'll skip because ZZ offers nothing to the plot or this show in general. Ug catches Budnick making a telephone call, which I'm assuming is also against camp policy, because the kids are forced to pick up trash for their transgression. While picking up trash and formulating a new burger plan I notice a few kids in the background going on a nature hike with a much more professional camp counselor. Must be nice.

The "plot" intensifies as Budnick politely informs Donkey Lips and Sponge that they have to sneak out of camp to pick up the burgers or get "pounded." Donkey Lips, ignoring the fact that he outweighs Budnick by about one hundred and fifty pounds, agrees. Sponge appears heartbroken that the high five he and Butnick clandestinely shared underneath the cafeteria table apparently meant nothing to Budnick.

Act Two:

We catch up with the "paradigm of children's education" himself Ug Lee as he takes a break from doing nothing and decides to catch some sun while sipping a cocktail. Telly interrupts to ask if Donkey Lips and Sponge can skip "activities" for the day to go jogging. Ug, most likely surprised that there were any discernible activities planned for the day, agrees, but only if Donkey Lips pushes Sponge in a wheelbarrow to prevent Sponge from losing weight; a plan both practical and degrading.

On the way to pick up the burgers Donkey Lips and Sponge engage in a legitimately sincere conversation about why they're bullied and how it's okay because of how successful they'll be when they grow up. Glancing at their IMDB pages, I disagree, but it was a surprisingly tender moment that genuinely showcased their budding friendship. Sadly, if those nerds would have suppressed their feelings, like all great men are taught to do, they would have heard all their burger money falling out of Donkey Lips' pocket. The lesson as always: Never Feel.

Finally Ug finishes his sun bathing and is a little too excited when he discovers a trail of pocket change. I can't imagine a camp counselor makes that much, but keep it together dude. He follows the trail and ends up, yep you guessed it, at the same Burger Shack as Donkey Lips and Sponge.

Meanwhile a clearly agitated Burger Shack employee waits for Donkey Lips and Sponge to pay. I imagine her antipathy comes not from working at a desolate Burger Shack that's hilariously isolated from everything except a summer camp that explicitly forbids its campers from eating there, but from the sad realization that her life hasn't turned out quite the way she expected it to. This show is deep y'all.

Sponge and Donkey Lips realize they've lost the money and notice Ug walking to the Burger Shack. The Burger Shack employee yells through the loudspeaker that "their order is ready and she doesn't want to waste the rest of her life waiting for them." Something tells me that this lady won't be around for future episodes. Or possibly tomorrow.

Ug notices the attractive girl in distress and, of course, tries to woo her. Based on their mutual admiration for poor job performance and degrading children you would think this would be a match made in vocational apathetic heaven. But it's not. The pretty young girl uses the promise of a swim date to trick Ug into paying for the burgers. While Ug cartoonishly attempts to pay, my favorite dialogue from the episode takes place:

Sponge: Kicked off the wrestling trip, kicked out of camp... my parents aren't going to get a refund.
Donkey Lips: And Ug is touching our food!

Sponge and Donkey Lips steal the hamburgers with a giant stick and the Burger Girl closes the window and puts up a sign that says: Closed... For Your Convenience... which doesn't make any sense, but I'm not here to review signs, I'm here to review television history. Once again Ug gets the short end of the stick and Burger Girl is off to finally put an end to all the pain.

Sponge and Donkey Lips race back to camp to give their ungrateful friends their burgers. But Ug, who found, and then lost, thirty dollars in change AND got his heart broken all in the span of ten minutes, is right behind them! The campers decide to eat the evidence. Now if you're a fan of logic you may want to skip to the end. Donkey Lips and Sponge bought thirty six burgers which means that each camper would have had to eat six burgers in about two minutes (Donkey Lips admirably didn't eat any because of his diet).

Ug enters and asks if everyone is having a party and wonders out loud why he wasn't invited. This is where I'd normally make a joke about Ug, but I think he meant that question earnestly. I don't think he has any friends. He then invites Donkey Lips and Sponge down to the lodge so he can weigh them because the wrestling tournament, the one that was just announced four hours ago, is tomorrow. That makes sense.

Just before he leaves Ug notices a certain smell in the air. Budnick comments that maybe Donkey Lips should shower more often. Everyone, including Ug, laughs.

We're finally here. The weigh in. I think I'm a lot closer to understanding myself after watching this episode; also, I'm definitely closer to understanding why nobody has ever written a review of this show before.

First up, Donkey Lips. Ug weighs him and then says in dramatic fashion that he's one... pound... over. You generally do the dramatic vocal spacing when you have good news for someone, but Ug is in all likelihood mentally challenged, so I'm going to give him yet another pass. Donkey Lips gives Sponge his claw cracker (which he had in his pocket and easily weighs over a pound) and sadly waddles off. Sponge makes weight and a crowd of about fifteen very bored children cheer. Coach Telly gives Sponge a dumbbell and tells him to start training (for a competition that's twelve hours away) but Sponge is more concerned about his friend.

I like Sponge. He'd make a fantastic acquaintance.

Sponge places the five pound weight on the scale, but then realizes that the scale says seven pounds. Ug looks at the scale like a dog trying to understand quantum physics, but (eventually) realizes that the scale is off and that both of our heroes made weight!

Sponge finds Donkey Lips and tells him the good news and the episode ends on a lighthearted note of friendship. Did Sponge get his lobster? Did Donkey Lips receive a trophy? Who knows. Does it really matter? It's about the journey not the destination. Also, the episode is over, so I'm happy.

I rate this episode a B- due to its over-reliance on two characters I don't really care about, refusal to give my main man Michael some more screen time and lack of Awful Waffles. A successful Salute your Shorts episode should be:

70% Budnick/Michael*/Ug
20% Telly/Dina/Sponge/Donkey Lips
9% Threats of People Receiving an Awful Waffle
1% ZZ

Camp Anawanna, I hold you in MY heart.



* Or Pinsky

TV Pilots

Welcome back to the blog that answers the question, "Where exactly does Josh go to write when he's frustrated with his latest script?"

Yikes! Horrible opening, but I'm keeping it as a reminder to all future openings of just how atrocious they can/will be.

I think I may have used an opening very similar to that once before, but lucky for me nobody on Earth will take the time to go back and look through this blog. Dodged that inconsequential bullet.

Last week I posted not one, very much two, not three, but TWO spec scripts. I received three very kind and extremely thoughtful emails and to those three kind souls I say, thank you. To the other six billion people in the world, well, I'm not angry; I'm just disappointed. Ah, subtle passive aggressive guilt trips. The classics almost never die.

I'm posting two pilots I wrote for your winter of visual discontent. Let's discuss them shall we? And by we, I mean me. This is not your blog. You seem to get very cyber-handsy after a few drinks don't you internet?

The Ripple Effect

Logline: After a three hour tour gone horribly awry, seven castaways play pickup hoops against a rather unorthodox team of traveling basketball players from Harlem. The stakes? Their LIVES.

Whoops. Wrong logline.

Actual Non-Globetrotter related Logline:

After a near death experience, a former prodigy reluctantly forms a partnership with a secret organization that specializes in helping people fulfill their destiny.

The Ripple Effect's my first hour long pilot and the first script I've written that's ever won a writing contest (ugg me and my bragging should get a room). Does this mean you should refer to me as an "Award Winning" writer? Oh, I don't know (fake blush, throws back nonexistent long hair and giggles). But I for one see no difference between me and Kids Choice Award Nominee Tom Hanks. Oh wait, I ACTUALLY WON THE AWARD. Take THAT nicest person in show business.

Enough Tom -(Hanks)foolery*. I love the one hour dramedy. In fact, I believe the writing of Josh Schwartz (The OC, Chuck) has greatly influenced my life. Am I saying the one hour dramaedy style that Josh Schwartz perfected filled me with unrealistic expectations of both life and love? No. Do I wish life was like a Josh Schwartz television program? Absolutely. The awkwardness. The longing looks. Dramatic... pauses. Looking pensively at/near a body of water. Death Cab/The National scoring my life's pivotal moments. Dramatic declarations of love. Punching people. Montages where people playfully throw food at each other. People, this is life! Well, it's not. But it should be.

The Ripple Effect's a personal favorite of mine. It's the first script I got paid to write (or if you're someone who loves FACTS the first thing I got money for BECAUSE I wrote it. I didn't exactly get paid TO write it. But hey, this is a blog; you need to play fast and loose with facts, spelling, grammar and copyright infringement). Is it perfect? No. Is it almost perfect? No. Is there a reason I'm needlessly bashing my own work? No.

Groves Corner

Logline:

A down-on-his-luck gambler returns to the quirky hometown he disgraced after inheriting his grandfather's eccentric business.

That description was fun right? Had some nice adjectives; I threw some hyphens in there to spruce it up a bit. Anyway, I would describe this script as a quirky romp. Like Gilmore Girls meets... something I wrote.

So read these scripts. Or don't read these scripts; I'm probably not the boss of you. If I am the boss of you, get back to work slacker.

Thank you again for the kind words, and, most importantly, for not showing this blog to the people who oversee mental institutions.

Fond Regards,

Josh

* In a world where hurtful, racist, stupid people are all allowed equal space to voice/vent their opinions on the internet, I Josh Sorokach, should have any and all internet posting privileges revoked for using that horrible, horrible, awful, horrible joke. I deeply apologize.

Community and It's Always Sunny SPEC-tacular

Hello people whose Google search accidentally sent them here! My name's Josh. Please don't say your name out loud, that's not how the Internet works. I've decided to post a few of my scripts online for a variety of reasons:

1. I enjoy reading different pilots and specs from young writers and I thought, maybe somewhere out there in this crazy world of ours somebody feels the same way. If we have this in common, who knows what else we have in common! Does Backgammon frighten and confuse you too? Wanna meet for a drink?
2. I always enjoy constructive feedback. I believe the anonymity of the internet encourages not only the smartest, but also the most productive members of our society to leave rational, contemplative comments.
3. Because all great Television writers post their old spec scripts on blogger. It's how Charles in Charge became America's sweetheart.

So if you'd like to read my Community or It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia spec scripts you can do so below. Any comments/fan mail/hate mail/Russian Order Bride information can be sent to Joshsorokach@gmail.com. If you have a script and want to do some sort of script swap, shoot me an email. Not so we can exchange scripts, mostly so we can say "Script Swap" out loud. It sounds like something a marbled mouth Pirate would declare.

Next week I'll post two ORIGINAL pilots. Your prayers have been answered, no one!

Enjoy!

Community Spec Script

Logline: Jeff's successful ex-girlfriend visits with the intent of enlightening Greendale students on the hazards of emulating Jeff Winger. Troy and Abed start a morning radio show.

Not so fun fact: I broke one of the cardinal rules of spec writing with this sample... "Don't suck." Ha. Half kidding. The rule I (repeatedly) bent, then broke, then blew up, was: don't base your story on an outside character. Womp to the Womp. This script definitely has an early season two vibe to it (which makes sense considering that's when I wrote it). I give this script eight gravy bowls... which makes no quantifiable sense. Even to me.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Spec Script

Logline: After a brush with death the gang decides to change their ways and become better people.

Not so fun fact: This script made into the top 5% of the WB TV Writing Fellowship! That's equivalent to winning your step brothers accidentally bronzed bronze medal. It was the first television script I ever wrote, but since you can enter two specs for the contest, I decided to fix it up and send it out. And kids, that is How I Met your Mother...

I’m on the Internet so I Must Be Important

Ahh the joys of writing after taking half an ambient at 1:42 a.m. I’m going to do a little bit of stream of conscience writing for twenty minutes, lightly edit and then post in the morning. Let’s see what’s inside this big old pumpkin shaped head of mine shall we?

Back in the year 2007 (when the TV show Dirty Sexy Money ruled the Dirty Sexy World) I started this blog. In many ways it has helped propel my writing into the work of very average motel lobby art you read with your very own human eyes right now. Crazy right? You’re reading this in YOUR present but in MY past.

Everyone okay? Looks like I accidentally set the microwave to high and gave you a pesky case of MIND MELT. Actually, I don’t think setting the microwave to high can cause a mind melt. Honestly, I don’t even know how to set my microwave on high. Why would that function exist? And if it does exist, what the hell microwave, are you telling me you’ve been half-assing it for the past five years? I really expected more from a forty dollar microwave I bought in Pottsville Pennsylvania five years ago. I didn’t live through whatever year my grandparents always talk about when things were cheap, people listened and something something no more respect for something anymore, but maybe they have a point.

I started to think about this blog today while up late working on a new script. You might say to yourself, “Woah partner, you’re now an award winning writer, I’m sure you’re always up late crafting dialogue, creating scripts and having copious amounts of self-doubt because that’s how every unreleased independent movie I’ve ever seen on Netflix depicts writers.” First, don’t call me partner. I’m not your five year old cousin’s schoolmate and we’re not at a classmate’s cowboy themed birthday party. Capeesh? Second, you’re dead wrong Pepperjack. See? Nicknames can be hurtful.

I rarely stay up late anymore because I’ve hit that sweet sweet spot in life where I have learned to treat sleep with the same reverence I use when taking out a nice young lady that I intend to marry someday (in this example let's go with 2005 Kristen Bell). If I were to take sleep out on a date, I’d open doors, pull out chairs, pick up the bill, even do that thing where the guy walks street-side while on a sidewalk so his lady doesn’t get splashed with mud or run over by an absentminded vehicle, which is sort of insulting when you think about it. If I were a lady I’d interpret it as: here woman, since your feeble brain can't comprehend the relatively simple act of carefully placing one leg in front of the other, I, THE MAN, will walk by the road so you don't accidentally kill yourself. Ugg, I hate that guy; I hope you made him buy extra drinks and left him door-side with cheek kiss.

I now cherish sleep. I think about sleep more than any active twenty-eight year old male should. I try to get a solid 7-8 hours because I read (in a book thank you) that sleeping eight hours a day prevents certain forms of death. And since living well is the best revenge by the powers invested in me by the transitive property: sleeping well leads to revenge. Right? Someone check my work there.

While on my lunch break at my real job last week (mountain climber) I jotted down a sketch idea for sleep. Here it is. Unedited.

Hey, still Josh here. This is in no way an actual skit; I was just jotting down notes. So cool down MEDIA.

Subject: Skit- Sleep deprivation center that takes itself very seriously

Man: This is the sleep deprivation center correct?

Man 2: Yes, of course it is. No we're not going to help you go to sleep. Going to sleep is easy dummy, you just close your eyes. Babies can sleep and they can even drive a car. We here at (insert name) are a sleep appreciation clinic, we're not here to help you fall asleep pervert. Why don't you go stock up on some candy corn, get back into your van and go fishing for children sicko.

Man: Why are you angry?

Man2: Because I love sleep! Does it appear to you that I'm sleeping right now?

Man: No?

Man 2: We as a society, on a good night, only sleep eight hours a day. It's unbelievably frustrating.

Man: How much should we sleep.

Man 2: About nineteen hours. But I'd settle for fifteen. But good luck getting the fat-cats to sign off on that one.

Man: What fat-cats?

Man 2: Hey, shut up.

Man: Sorry.

So, apparently this skit is about a man who goes to a sleep clinic, but the clinic is actually a shrine to sleep appreciation? And the owner is angry because when he's forced to work he can't sleep? Is that where I was going with that? He should still be happy, he gets to work closely with sleep. Chin up Man 2. Things could be worse.

If you had anything better to do I apologize for wasting your time. If you didn't, you're welcome.

P.S. Thanks to Sydney and random (kind) stranger who commented on my last post! You two are the bees knees!

P.P.S. I wish people used the insult "Blockhead" more. I also wish more people would tell a crazy person to "Simmer Down" when they get excitable.

Community Day

Greetings internet! It’s been a long time since I came around. It’s been a long time, but I’m back in town but this time I’m not leaving without you. See, I listen to Lady Gaga, I’m just like you and/or that weird co-worker of yours that adores Lady Gaga just a little too much. You know the one. With the abundance of eye make-up, always seems to be mumbling to herself, tries to strike up conversations about Vampires in a non-ironic way. She has a name like Karen but refers to herself as Kar-een. Hey crazies I’m sure you accidentally stumbled on to this blog from your “how to animate myself” Google search, but a word of advice: pronouncing your name differently doesn’t make you unique; it just saves time in letting people know you’re crazy.

That was a fun little opening that tiptoed around volatile. I’m going to review the year in television. Why? Because I have opinions dammit! And it’s 2011 so they must be validated!

Shows I stopped Watching:

Modern Family: Everyone loves this show. Everyone. Moms, barbershop quartets, vikings, dogs, geeks, sportos, motorheads, dweebs, dorks, sluts, they all think this show is a righteous dude. This universal love paradoxically caused me to ignore this program; a perfect example of my own glaring lack of personal growth and unwarranted propensity for spite.

One Tree Hill: I hate internet criticism. It usually stems from a place that feeds on two parts hate and one part jealousy (a Joan Rivers cocktail if you will) but there was an episode of OTH this season that I literally thought was an hour long dream sequence because it seemed so implausible. It wasn’t. The show’s still on the air though, so I guess the best revenge is living mediocrely.

Smallville: Ever since I found out that **Spoiler Alert** Clark Kent is Superman the show sort of lost its enigmatic appeal. Apparently they let this spoiler slip in the pilot episode as well as every subsequent episode thereafter, but I must have missed it. Round one goes to you, years of excessive drinking.

Grey’s Anatomy: Can we just merge all of the medical procedurals and law enforcement procedurals into one engaging hour-long show? Not everyone on the planet is a surgeon and/or cop people who run Hollywood and don’t read my blog! Light bulb. What if I write a show about an undercover cop/surgeon? Dr. Justice starring… Jason Biggs? This fall crimes prognosis... NEGATIVE.

Glee: I really enjoy the classic Opening/Song/Song/Song/Story/Song/Song/Song/Plot? structure of Glee. I make fun, but deep down I secretly wish people around me would break out into song and all my arguments would be hammered home by pitch perfect harmony.

Shows I (somewhat) Watched:

How I Met Your Mother: If my dad told me a story that lasted seven years it better end with “And one day, you too, will become a Teenwolf.”

American Idol: I hopped off the idol train after my future girlfriend and future future ex-girlfriend Haley Reinhart got the boot. I don’t really care for the actual show, most of the contestants, Ford, Coke, or anything any of the judges ever have to say. I do however find Ryan Seacrest to be quite the comedic and surprisingly engaging host. I never thought I’d find Seacrest to be entertaining yet here we are. Your move Armageddon.

The Killing: I never understood the hullabaloo about this program. I also never understood how “hullabaloo” is word and not a hilariously overweight animated dinosaur cop from a 1970’s Hanna Barbera cartoon. Here's the scene by scene breakdown for The Killing: Long gaze/rain/crying cut to: rain/two characters start to talk quietly but then somebody shouts/pensive gaze/rain cut to: /Josh napping/ cut to: crying/dramatic gaze/something happens to move the plot in the final five minutes/credits.

Shows I liked:

Bored to Death: It’s just a fun show. Jason Schwartzman: Fun. Three Men and a Baby Danson: Fun Zach GaliFUNakis: I included his fun tag in his name because the fun figuratively illuminates from him like a pre-ozone layer earth. So… present day earth. I don’t know if that last point made any comedic or scientific sense. I know very little about the world around me.

Entourage: Entourage had a renaissance this year, like a once great athlete who heroically takes steroids so he can sign one more long-term contract. Ah Jason Giambi you’re an American hero. I enjoyed the plot of Entourage this season. Something I never thought I’d say about anything involving Sasha Gray.

Parenthood: Solid cast that really finished with a strong second season. You know who's an underrated dramatic actor? Stop guessing. Dax Shepard. He may have a name that sounds as though he’s a disgraced former X-Games announcer but he possesses the acting chops of a theatrically well trained lion.

Happy Endings: Big fan of the witty pop-culture laden dialogue plus this show boasts a very strong ensemble cast of comedic talent. Recently I was on a plane with star and former SNL’er Casey Wilson. Our eyes met. We didn’t necessarily fall in love, but we didn’t not fall in love if you know what I mean.

Shows I also enjoyed but have nothing to say about: The Office, It’s Always Sunny, Lone Star, Terriers, Breakout Kings

Shows I Loved:

Justified: Raylan Givens and Boyd Crowder took over the mantle of “favorite frenemies” now that Jack and Sawyer are off in the afterlife exchanging various “hooking up with Kate” antidotes and seeing who can win a gratuitously removing your t-shirt contest.

Dexter: I enjoyed this season of Dexter. Nothing may ever top the sensational first season or the exhilarating climax of the Lithgow finale, but I enjoyed the year O’ Stiles. Is it because her name reminds me of Teenwolf’s best friend? No. But that doesn’t hurt.

Friday Night Lights: Storytelling, phenomenal acting and creating real, yet intricate characters no show better exemplified those traits more than Friday Night Lights. This seems strange to say, but the series was a privilege to watch.

Parks and Recreation: This show is too good for a little paragraph. More on this at a time that we shall be BD'ed.

My Favorite Show: Community

Community is the most progressive comedy on television. Notice how I didn’t use the qualifier probably? I’m stating an opinion as a fact. That’s reckless journalism 101. A class I take due to the fact that I am in no way shape or form a journalist, this is a blog and I have to Google “Everybody/Every Body” at least once a week. Contractions are hard for some people. Get off your high horse society.

Recently, series creator Dan Harmon sat down with The Onion AV Club and discussed every season two episode of Community. It was like a DVD commentary for your eyes! Not only did I gain valuable insight into the mind of a comedic genius, but I also gained some invaluable self-doubt about my own limitations as a future television writer. And that’s what they call in the biz a two-fer.

Seriously, Dan Harmon’s review scared the three camera sitcom out of me. I recently completed a Community spec script and it was without a doubt the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to write. It was a daunting task to try and live up to the expectations of writing a clever rendition of your favorite program. I finished the script, and I’m proud of it, but it also filled me with a lot of paralyzing self-doubt during the process. I’d get frustrated with a specific story beat and look into the figurative mirror known as my computer and ask aloud to no one in particular, “Am I good enough?” My computer, being the virus toting, porn pausing, jag off that it is sadly had no words of encouragement. Reading Harmon’s self deprecating review of his own show, a show considered in some comedy circles to be the most prolific on television, was both terrorizing and uplifting. Like getting your teeth cleaned by a sexy dentist. It made me realize that everyone has self doubt; everyone from time to time thinks they’re not good enough, but you keep going, you keep writing, and eventually, you find your way. Or you don’t. I don’t know your deal. Hmm this review became a little too self serving, which is rare for a blog.

Community is brilliance personified. Watch it. Or die trying. Nope. Too far. Just watch it.

Have a great weekend knuckleheads!